On religion

Die-agnostic, cause you can never be too sure of anything

On death

Would like my tombstone to read 'The man who knew how to live but died too early'

On chips

Eating pringles one at a time is like a delayed orgasm, just delays the fun.

On Looks

They say looks shouldn't matter. They're right, mine shouldn't.

Maverick Limerick

There was a boy called Plum
Who always looked very glum
His friends' asked him why
And he said with a teary eye
'Life is a major pain in the bum'

Plum wanted to commit suicide
But no matter how hard he tried
He ended up taking the wrong pills
Or jumping off very low window sills
At this rate he asked himself, 'Could he ever die?'

Until one very fine summer day,
As Plum was walking, On his way
He saw a beautiful woman, a terrific sight
And poor Plum couldn't sleep a wink at night
Until he decided he would convey what in his heart lay

So Plum decided he would tell her everything
About how he felt and he even bought her a ring
He waited patiently for hours together
Until finally she appeared, around the corner
And Plum's heart skipped a beat as he heard her sing

Plum ran up to her with great excitement
She watched him approach, with some astonishment
Plum told her he loved her more than his own life
Wouldn't she please be his loving wife?
And Plum offered the ring to her, extremely adamant

But she showed him another ring
From her first and only wedding
And it glistened on her finger
As Plum's hopes turned dimmer
And he ran away, hiding his tears and suffering

if you ever meet this chap called Plum
Be sure to ask him why he's so glum
He's changed his answer after his last experience
And he'll caution you to exercise prudence
'Cause a woman is a major pain in the bum'

Life - as we know it

I desperately want to write this poem
About my life, rather life in general
Peppered with brilliance but mostly sarcasm.
Let's give it a go, and hope its one of several
Meaningful things that I do on this planet
Enough with the intro, lets get started.

It all began quite smoothly,
I can't seem to recall the events of birth precisely,
Not the nurse who spanked me
Or the sight of my parents in that ward
But I was born, and gazed upon the world

But then things took off
Before I knew it I had memories
I could make sense of the planet
And it tried to make sense of me
I could interact with people and objects
And it was all extremely curious and fun

This curiosity soon wore off
As I entered my adolescence
Here I lost my innocence
A great loss, as mundane things would never interest
I only sought to impress
My friends, my peers
And toward this cause I rebelled,
To be different, to not accept
The world for what it was

Mostly this rebellion was to seek attention
To ensure that my existence was purposeful
A wish to lead a life of fruition
Where change could be possible

Alas! A weak rebellion, for I submitted myself to adulthood
And although several doubts throng my brain
About the meaning, the purpose of life
There is no intent to change,
And I seem to have surrendered
Even as I vaguely remember
The wonderful curiosity in childhood
And the overpowering exuberance of my adolescence
But I am overwhelmed with meaningless thoughts in my head
And before I know it I will be dead

Viking Country (_)

The fjords of Norway beckoned. And to all of you who intend on doing a trip to Europe, note that the Nordic countries get extremely cold post October. Entire lakes freeze and the fjords are closed post September 30.

Stockholm Syndrome : 


We set off first to Sweden on our way to Norway. Stockholm was our stop. Stockholm is a commercial hub, but you don't get that feeling. I was blown away by how beautiful it is. It has vast fields with wild horses, long promenades, a fantastic river (Norrstrom) and an archipelago of maybe a thousand islands (could be more). I spent my time walking about, for most of the day. I think the pictures would do more justice than my writing.

I do recommend taking a walk to the TV Tower which is some way away from the main city. It gives a fantastic view of the city as well as the archipelago and it is something that needs to be seen. The walk itself is fantastic, as you pass by vast rolling fields with wild horses, beasts that looked absolutely majestic.

The Vasa Museum is not worth the money, although it does provide you with a stunning sight of a reconstructed ship that was lifted by a fleet of several other ships from the bottom of the ocean.

Another thing to do would be to take a cruise on the river between the many islands that dot the ocean.

Vasa Museum 

The TV Tower

Rainbow over Stockholm

Country Roads, take me to the TV Tower

Do they eat meat??

Halfway across the world - 1

As I sit down to write this, I am stunned by what I have seen and experienced in the past two months. I do not know where to begin and how to describe what I have seen and felt in words, but I shall try. I must. More so for myself than for the interest of the general public, since lately I feel that I am losing most of my memory and as rightly pointed out by George Santayana, 'He who forgets the past is condemned to repeat it'. So I must write down my experiences, not for you, but for me. However, it is my sincere wish that my account paints as vivid a picture imaginable for the reader and that the account presented has some useful information for my fellow traveler. Here goes...

'People search far and wide to find themselves or find something, but sometimes the most important things can be found very close to home' - guide in Krakow

My journey starts off with a harrowed and hassled flight to Aarhus in Denmark. I think it is apt to introduce my friend with whom I began this journey. His name is RCR. More on him as we progress. So RCR and I get delayed at immigration at Helsinki, our stop-over to change flights to Aarhus and chaos ensues. What followed was a dash to the boarding gate, only to find a Japanese dude called Hung Yoo (or that's what I think he was called) also waiting in the wings, no pun intended, well actually, maybe it is. The three of us were told that we were to be put on a flight to Copenhagen and would have to then take a flight to Aarhus from Copenhagen. This set us back four hours and we reached Aarhus at 8PM with not an iota of where to go and what to do next, for, the idiots that we were, we had forgotten our address in Aarhus.

A few phone calls later and we were off to Ego Habvej by bus, to a friend's place. The only problem - this friend was out partying and would be back, hopefully, by 11PM.

Ego Habvej, a desolate place amidst the woods. Here we were, two brown men, one clad in a freakishly long overcoat, lugging our luggage up a lonely road surrounded by tall trees and moonlight. We frantically asked the Danes who passed by for help but it seemed like us being brown and in monkey caps and I repeat - a freakishly long overcoat- didn’t help us too much. The poor guys scurried away to safety,while a few completely ignored us.

Finally we decided to wait at the bus stop after managing to hit a nearby petrol pump for some food for the night. Some dinner! Two bananas, two candy bars, a packet of chips and a bottle of water to survive the cold night in an igloo shaped bus stop.Hardly my idea of the perfect start to a euro trip.But hey, this is what happens when you seek adventure, I suppose.

My friend did arrive though, and we were saved. For now...

And we're off!

A week flew by and we had settled in quite well only for us to move again. Our destination - Sweden and Norway, the Nordic countries.

After booking the hostels in Stockholm and Oslo, we were off to Copenhagen. My eurotrip hardly began as I had imagined, sitting in a luxurious bullet train. I was forced to sit near the door on the steps of the train as we hadn't reserved.

More soon...

The quintessential answer to that nagging question - 'How's Life?'

Life's unfair.
Many people say it's beautiful but that's really their outlook. I know several others who say that it sucks.
Hardly matters though, both sets will not get out alive.
In life only one thing is certain, change. Change is shiny and usually comes in circular metal pieces of varying denominations and gets you candy. And you can be absolutely certain about candy. Candy never sucks. You suck on candy.
People usually say that they know what they want to do with their lives. They give it a really cool word. Some call it 'focus', others call it 'ambition'. I call it a way to kill time by doing something that you think is worthwhile; that many others do not really care about.
There are others that seem to live for the benefit of others.Selfless. They do things to ensure that others' lives are better. Difficult for many though, because 'Greed' ensures that you waste your time on this planet by doing pointless things.
The saddest part about this article is that I can never get away with this answer for the question 'How's life?'. People don't have time to waste on my wit.
Like I said, 'Life's unfair'.

Dual Dangler

A guy at work takes a leak by throwing his tie over his shoulder. I hypothesised that this was only because he was so retarded that he gets confused what to hold and squeeze and coax when he has his tie dangling next to his weener.