Tavve Tobacco Talks

Im sure there are a lot of women out there who would like to know what we men think and talk about. Well, ok maybe not a lot. Well, ok maybe they don't want to know what 'I' think about.But quite frankly, I've realised that we don't think about much and we can spend hours talking about absolutely nothing. Nothing that could change anyone's life. Zilch! Nil! Zero!But I think I know why we men talk a whole lot of rot. You see, it's because we hate thinking about serious stuff. So we talk trash most of the times to keep our mind away from the serious stuff. Take for example the conversation below between my two very good friends. Their names have not been revealed for obvious reasons.

MM: Duude! Smoke?

NP: Haan!Chal

MM: Let's go to that Tavve Tobacco. We can have tea also

NP: Chal

MM: Duuude! Add value to the conversation man! You're answering in monosyllables. You know how I hate silence.

NP: @#%$$! There! That was more than one syllable for sure.

MM: Sigh!Ok Ok Ok! Mangoes or grapes?

NP: WTF?? Mangoes obviously

MM: Hmmm! Yes! But now let me put you in a hypothetical situation. Lets say you are lying on your bed and watching TV and your favourite show is on. On a plate next to you there's an uncut mango and a bunch of grapes. The knife is in the kitchen. Now which would you choose?

NP: Grapes, I wouldn't get up to go and bring the knife

MM: Exactly! Life is just like that! It's like a choice between mangoes and grapes, the mangoes taste better, but sometimes you choose convenience!

NP: $%^@&&@*** I want my 2 minutes back

@Tavve Tobacco with cigarettes and tea

MM: Duude! Have you wondered why we are single?

NP: Yes! I've also wondered why you can't keep your mouth shut for more than 2 minutes at a stretch!

MM: You know what I've realised....I need to change my strategy. I've devised a new one.It's caled the 'stare philosophy'.

NP: I don't want to kn...

MM: So here is how it works. Have you ever had that awkward moment where you look at this nice looking girl, and she catches you looking so you have to look away? Well, of course you have! All men have. So here is where the stare philosophy comes into play. When the girl catches you staring, you don't look away! YOU CONTINUE STARING!

NP: That's the worst %&@*@#)# strategy I've heard.You WILL die alone!

MM: Duuude! Listen to me! So just picture this scene at a pub....There's this extremely pretty girl sitting across the bar. Now you can't help staring at her. She catches you looking at her.Now you must not look away. Keep staring at her.

NP: That's suicide man.

MM: Think about it man. Now she has noticed you staring.So after some time she will keep checking to see whether you're still staring. After a while you make your move. You go to her and say 'I couldn't help but notice that YOU were staring at ME!Can I get you a drink?'
It's simply awesome isn't it. And even if the lady gets angry and comes over to confront you, you pull off 'You are the prettiest thing in the room. I'd rather not look at anything else'. You see! It's fool proof.

NP: Well, if it works for you then it's definitely fool proof.

MM: What?You think its stupid?

NP: You'll get murdered in cold blood

MM: Nah! Being hit by an ice cream truck! That's being murdered in cold blood!

NP: *&@^&#*@&^*&@#

MM: Haha! We'll give it a try the next time we hit a pub for sure!So.....Crows or eagles?

NP: AAAAAAAARGGGGHHHHH!


So there you have it my dear readers, the human brain is capable of doing wonderous things. But we guys choose not to use its amazing power. So its upto you women to take the world forward. Remember! With great power comes great responsibility!

PS: I had also written this knock knock joke in my spare time. Im posting it here. Why? Well,because it's my blog!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Love
Love?
Ya Lov..... Wait a minute! Aren't you supposed to say 'Love who?'
Well,its my house.I'll say whateva the hell I want
Well,excuuuuse me for being a bother! I'll just head over to your neighbours' then
HA! Go ahead! They don't need you there! I hear love there every night! Sometimes TWICE!
Sniff! That makes me feel so alone
Oh,come now,don't cry....Well, Ok, come in...I'll make you some hot chocolate.Maybe then you can tell me what makes you so special